January 2012
New Years resolution
fuckyeahmarijuana-:
kill myself
December 2011
me: did it hurt?
mom: what
me: when you blew through the earth, emerging from hell
mom:
xoxojared:
everyone loves drunk jared except for sober jared the next day
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tacomuncho replied to your photo: Probably one of the best nights I’ve had in awhile…
what a sexy eye!
I hate you! Go to sleep, you have a race tomorrow!
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I spent the day hopped up on NyQuil and Buckley’s eating everything in my fridge and watching Lord of the Rings and Supernatural.
Best cure for the flu.
slameronhurley:
Instead of kissing someone on new years I’m gonna punch someone in the face
hyperpyron:
I’m notorious for burning bridges while the wound is still fresh.
It would be great if I woke up tomorrow and could be able to breathe again.
sinceeveryonesdoingit:
stockade:
What if animals love having makeup tested on them and they hate PETA for taking away their daily dose of fabulous
LOL.
3rd grade
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me: what
friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
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recyclingwords:
Who wants to go out with me? Like on a date? And then make awkward conversation while we fantasize about what we could be doing if we weren’t on a date?
Any takers? You guys are missing out fo sho.
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